You Might Be a Punk Rock Witch If...


  1. Your quarter calls involve the "F" word

  2. Your spiral dance leaves bruises

  3. You serve consecrated Pabst Blue Ribbon and cold pizza as "cakes and ale".

  4. Your secret name for the Lord and Lady are "Sid and Nancy".

  5. You use a "black handled switchblade of Art".

  6. Your altar is set on a beaten old speaker cabinet held precariously together with duct tape.

  7. Your altar candles are road flares.

  8. Your ritual robe has liberty spikes.

  9. You circle in a dank basement decorated with collapsing heating ducts and cockroach corpses.

  10. The Great Rite involves whips, chains, and safety pins.

  11. Your altar is held up by (or made out of) "free" milkcrates, and covered with an old Misfits shirt.

  12. You have Botticellis' "Venus" painted on the back of your motorcycle jacket.

  13. Your hair color changes eight times a year.

  14. You'd never buy fancy magickal tools. D.I.Y. is a way of LIFE.

  15. Your calling the quarters consists of jumping onto a milk crate/altar/coffee table and screaming ONETWOTHREEFOUR!

  16. You identify the quarters as Joey, Johnny, Dee Dee and Marky.

  17. The Law of Three refers to the number of guitar chords you can play.

  18. You think the Wheel of the Year refers to the Vans Warped Tour.


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Last Updated 19-Aug-2016   Sitemap

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