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Your magick wand vibrates.
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You are spherical and come in sets of 2.
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Your magickal oils are flavored.
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You think all magick is sex magic.
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Your altar has silk sheets.
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Your chalice is fur-lined.
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Your altar candles are anatomically correct.
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Your binding rituals involve handcuffs.
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Your magic wands have French ticklers on the ends.
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Your High Priest/ess wears a leather mask.
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The wax from your candles ends up on your nipples.
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You consider KY Jelly an altar tool.
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Your chants contain phrases like "Oh my God/ess I'm coming!"
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You're skyclad all the time.
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Your broomstick has stains on it.
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The white blobs on your altar isn't candle wax .
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Your book of shadows includes the Kama Sutra.
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You need a cigarette after every ritual.
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Your altar candles are studded or ribbed.
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Your robes look like a French Maid costume.
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Your ritual music is sung by Madonna
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You find yourself using a phallic wand to call down the goddess several
times a night.
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You ask a Satanist if you can just "borrow" a sacrificial
animal
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You start having great cyber-rites.
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You keep having to charge the batteries in your wand.
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You have Fertility Rites a couple times a week/twice on Sabbats.
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You automatically "assume the position" every time your
High Priest/ess comes in the room.