I'm a Wiccan-Shaman-Druid,
I am new age through and through.
Decked in crystals from my head to toe,
With feathers and pyramids, too.
My spirit-guide is from Atlantis.
He's a Zen-Aztec guru.
Come and spend the weekend with us,
For two thousand dollars
You'll be a Wiccan-Shaman too.
I'm an Elvis-Loki-Viking.
I channel Ashley Montague.
In a former life I was a gypsy clerk,
Bull fighter, and troubadour, too.
I know five Illuminati,
They're a strange and motley crew.
There's a priest from ancient China,
He lives in my basement.
He is an Elvis-Viking too.
My coven is part Rosicrucian,
Mixed with some Theosophy.
Add in some stuff from the Golden Dawn,
`Cause Crowley's just all right with me.
I've got twelve initiations,
I've seen all there is too see.
And watch out for those strange
They'll cement your chickens to a tree.
I've got a pipe ceremony,
Adapted from the O.T.O.
I use a sweatlodge for my Beltane rites,
The Maypole is just there for show.
I have got a glass athame,
With batteries to make it glow.
It's just great for calling quarters
In my new tradition:
The Lynn Andrews-Buckland-Starhawk Grove.