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The Great Mothers of this tradition are Galanthus, who was turned into
a weasel for lying to Juno; and Eris, both Goddess and Ferret incarnate,
who are IN CHARGE.
This is the Holy Sacred Oath of the Weasel Tradition:
"I don't believe anything unless I want to. My mind is subject to change
within reason and without notification at any time. We will always have
Paris. (But not paris of sox.) I can do without my socks. Other than that
there are absolutely no absolutes."
Sacred Objects of the Weasel tradition include:
- A Floppy Witch Hat (double sided, single density)
- The nearest operational refrigerator
- Dirty Socks
- Tubes made of cardboard or plastic
- Rubber erasers and squeaky toys
- Loud plastic bag and ping pong balls
- The Golden Apple of Eris
- Silk Top hat.
In order to be initiated into the Weasel Tradition, a new berserker must:
- Co-habit with a Ferret; at least one.
- Acquire your tools in a somewhat less-than-entirely-scrupulous manner-
stopping short of Genuine Theft. Use your imagination.
- Sacrifice a Sock to Galanthus. It must be a good Sock, one you wouldn't
otherwise throw away, and you must have the other one in your possession.
- Bake some holy Fhood, with Weasel Help, which includes raisins and chocolate
chips.
- Write a ritual containing at least three things which are obviously
or blatantly lifted, word for word, from somewhere else. Anywhere else.
- Let a weasel lick your lips while you sing:
The Weasel Help Song:
Everyone needs Weasel help,
Weasel Help, Weasel Help
Everyone needs Weasel help,
to get them through the day!
I don't need no Weasel Help,
Weasel Help, Weasel Help,
I don't need no Weasel Help,
no matter what you say!
The Sacred Holidays of the Weasel tradition are any holidays which have
even the slightest thing to do with Fhood.
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