Signs That Your Coven Is Getting Older


  1. The ritual feast is puréed.

  2. Last Beltaine the coven decided it would be nice to go out to dinner to celebrate.

  3. The last time you tried to do a spiral dance your oxygen feeds got tangled

  4. Viagra is kept in the coven supplies

  5. The maiden of the coven is a grandmother

  6. The ritual room is outfitted with defibrillators

  7. The coveners drive their RV's to Scottsdale for Mabon

  8. When you are at a festival you go to bed at sunset

  9. It takes the whole coven to move the cauldron

  10. The high priest still has a vendetta going against Richard Nixon

  11. You find yourself using your pendulum over the stock pages in the newspaper

  12. You tell an initiate that in your day you had to slog through 5' of snow uphill both ways when you did a Yule ritual

  13. You drop your teeth in the ritual cup

  14. At Samhain you see more of your coveners in the Wild Hunt than you do in circle.

  15. You put your athame in the chalice during ritual but you can't remember why.

  16. You hold an all night blow-out drum frenzy and none of your neighbors noticed.

  17. You use Glenn Miller records for trance music.

  18. All of your ritual robes are tie-dyed

  19. Your coven has a 401(k) retirement plan.

  20. A nitro pill vial replaces the crystal on your pendant.

  21. No one's successfully jumped the Beltaine fire since 1983.

  22. You set comfy chairs around the circle.

  23. When you sit on the floor and can't get up again.

  24. You do anointings with Aspercreme.

  25. The oak tree your coven planted died of old age.

  26. You use Bran Muffins and Prune Juice for Cakes & Ale because you need the fiber.

  27. You don't use salt to consecrate you altar because you need to stay away from extra sodium.

  28. You use a walker during the Wild Hunt

  29. You prefer to rent a Hall for rituals because the bathrooms are closer.

  30. You need a flashlight to find the candles.

-- Seshen on alt.witchcraft


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Last Updated 19-Aug-2016   Sitemap

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