The following is a description of a New Zealand wine taken straight
from the bottle, word-for-word. Reportedly, anyone who has tried it will
know that it is a mild description.
PURPLE DEATH
An unusual 'Rough-as-Guts' aperitif that has the distinctive bouquet
of horse-shit and old tram tickets. It is best drunk with the teeth clenched
to prevent ingestion of any foreign bodies. Connoisseurs will savour the
slight tannin taste of old tea leaves and burnt cat fur. Possessors of
a cultivated palate will admire the initial assault on the taste buds
which comes from the careful and loving blending of animal manure and
perished jock straps strained through an old miner's sock. The maturing
in small pigs' bladders gives it a very definite nose.
Marketed under the Saviour Brand (9 out of 10 people who drink it for
the first time exclaim 'Je-e-esus Chri-ist').
Caution: Keep away from 'naked flames' (both old and
new).
BOTTLED BY THE MAD SCIENTIST, JUST FOR FUN, FOR
SAPICH BROTHERS
Forest Hill Road, Henderson, New Zealand |
