Snow and sleet won't bother me
With my plastic Christmas tree
Spreading season's tidings to my friends.
Christmas is so neat and clean,
For it's polyethylene and
Folds compactly when the season ends.
With my blow-up Santa in the yard.
Think of Christmas joys and thrills
Paid for with twelve monthly bills
'Cause I used my plastic credit card.
Deck the halls with yards of rayon,
And the snow and sleet is spray-on --
Just protect it all from open flame.
But from all the pretty misses
I collect synthetic kisses.
Isn't plastic mistletoe real lame?
Greetings etched in polished Bakelite.
Passing drivers stare agape
When the hear my mylar tape
Shouting Christmas carols in the night.
-- Turok, 1968