On-Line Coven Initiation Ritual Log

© 2001 Raven Gilmartin
Permission is granted to use/link


I wrote this as stress relief. A very heated argument was occurring in my "Pagan Realm e-group", and I got tired of arguing and correcting people about what I really said and didn't say. Any way, this helped me to get my sense of humor back.

Oh, and by the way..
THIS IS A JOKE PEOPLE!

Blessings!
Tarty


Logging 2-14-01 23:01:34 pm EST

HPS>>Before we start our initiation ritual, I have an announcement. Fluffy Moon Ferret has totally burned out her hard drive and probably won't be able to get back on line for at least two weeks
EAST>>Darn! She was going to teach us how to make cyber corn dollies next week :-(
HP>>Can I suggest that we table this and get down to business?
EAST>>Yes, sorry
HP>>We're about to start the initiation ritual. Is everyone ready?
WEST>>Present
EAST>>Ready
SOUTH>>Roger
INITIATE>>I am ready

~~(1 minute pause)~~

HPS>>North?

~~(1 minute pause)~~

HP>>NORTH??
NORTH>>Sorry, I had to reboot
HPS>>Ok, we are all here. Initiate, are you skyclad and ready?
INITIATE>>Not yet-- hold on, I need to get a pillow
HP>>Pillow?
INITIATE>>Yes, I have a metal chair here at my desk. OK-- BRB

~~(2 minute pause)~~

INITIATE>>Ok, I am ready and skyclad
HPS>>Good, now do you have the cord?
INITIATE>>Yes, I have an orange one I got on sale at the fabric store today, is that ok?
HP>>It will have to do. OK, now, tie your hands behind your back, then bring the cord up around your neck...
INITIATE>>Ummm.... I can't do that by myself..
HPS>>Do you have anyone there to help you?
INITIATE>>Only my mom, but she would kill me if she knew what I was doing in here
HP>>OK, forget the cord. Do you have the blindfold?
INITIATE>>Yes, I do
HPS>>OK, put the blindfold on and don't peek while we cast the circle. Give us about four minutes
INITIATE>>OK, I'm going to put the blindfold on now, how will I know when you are ready for me?
HP>>Do you have an alarm clock?
INITIATE>>Yes, but it's in my room
HP>>Can you go get it?
INITIATE>>Yes, but I'd have to put my clothes on-- my mom is in the next room
HPS>>Never mind, just put on the blindfold and count to 240
INITIATE>>OK

~~(4 minute pause)~~

HPS>>Initiate?

~~(1 minute pause)

HP>>INITIATE??
HPS>>Maybe he got disconnected?
INITIATE>>I am here-- are you ready for me?
HPS>>Yes, the circle is cast. Do you have your sword?
INITIATE>>Sword?
HP>>Yes, while you imagine that I am holding my sword with the tip against your heart I want you to hold your sword in the same way
INITIATE>>I don't have a sword..
HP>>Do you have an athame?
INITIATE>>no..
HP>>Do you have anything sharp in there?
INITIATE>>There's a pen on the desk..
HP>>Ok, point the pen at your heart
INITIATE>>OK
HP>>How do you enter this circle?
INITIATE>>In perfect love and perfect trust
HPS>>Good, now I need to whisper the sacred words to you
INITIATE>>whisper?
HPS>>Yes, do you have two phone lines? I can call you with them
INITIATE>>No, only one
HPS>>Ok, I'll e-mail them to you BRB

**HPS has left the chat room**

~~(1 minute pause)~~

**HPS has joined the chat room**

HPS>>Ok, I mailed them
INITIATE>>OK, I'll go look

**INITIATE has left the chat room**

~~(1 minute pause)~~

**INITIATE has joined the chatroom**

INITIATE>>I can't get into my hotmail-- I keep getting a message that the servers are down
HPS>>OK, you can get them later. Now imagine that I am pushing you from behind into the circle
INITIATE>>from behind?
HPS>>Yes, kinda like you are tilted, I am holding on to the cord. Oh wait.. no cord.. ok, just pretend I am pushing you into the circle
INITIATE>>Ok
HPS>>Now we are going to go around the circle three times.
INITIATE>>OK

~~(1 minute pause)~~

HPS>>Now we're stopping in front of the altar and I am holding the scourge

INITIATE>>OK
HP>>You must kneel at the altar while the High Priestess scourges you
INITIATE>>Do you want me to imagine that I am kneeling in front of the altar or do you really want me to kneel in front of my computer?
HP>>Can you kneel and still see the screen?
HPS>>If he kneels he must also put his head down on the floor
HP>>Well, I guess he can't kneel then
HPS>>Yes, he can, I have an idea. Initiate--kneel and put your head to the floor and imagine that I am scourging you
INITIATE>>OK
HPS>>I am now scourging you

~~(2 minute pause)~~

HPS>>Initiate you must now scourge me twice as many times

~~(1 minute pause)

HPS>>Initiate?
HP>>INITIATE???
INITATE>> I am here, now what do I need to do?
HP>>You must imagine that you are scourging the High Priestess

WEST>>I need to go-- the baby woke up and needs to be fed
HP>>Can you feed him at the computer?
WEST>>Yes, I'll bring him back here with me. North, can you cut me a door?

~~( 1 minute pause)~~

WEST>>I really need to go-- the baby is crying
HP>>NORTH??
NORTH>>Sorry, I had to reboot
HP>>Can you cut West a door? NOW?
NORTH>>OK, all set

**WEST has left the chatroom**

HPS>> Ok, should we continue or wait until West comes back?
SOUTH>>I think we should continue
EAST>>We should wait

**WEST has joined the chatroom**

WEST>>I am back, North can you cut me back in?

~~( 1minute pause)~~

HP>>NORTH!!!
NORTH>>Sorry, I had to reboot. West you are all set
HP>>Ok, where were we?
HPS>>The initiate has to scourge me. I am going to kneel down here now, and imagine that he is plying the scourge
INITIATE>>Ok, I am imagining that I am scourging the High Priestess

~~( 2 minute pause)~~

INITIATE>>I am done
HP>>Priestess?

~~(1 minute pause)~~

HPS>>I need to go right now
HP>>Why? We are not finished here
HPS>>I banged my head on the desk when I got up-- hard-- I am bleeding all over my computer. I need to go to the ER for stitches

**HPS has left the chatroom**

HP>>OK, we'll make this a healing circle instead
INITIATE>>I have to go too, my mom is in the hallway screaming and wants to know what I am doing

**INITIATE has left the chatroom**

HP>> OK, everyone go light candles and we'll try to do this again tomorrow night
**Chatroom closed**

Logging off 2-15-01 01:32:41 am EST

Summoning app


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