Old vs. New Magic


The nature of spirituality and magic has changed substantially in the last few centuries. In medieval times, people felt themselves surrounded by hostile forces beyond their control, and they developed spells and other rituals to protect themselves. Today we are also surrounded by hostile forces beyond our control, but the spells and rituals have changed to meet modern needs.

Herewith a list of medieval spells, items, and spiritual concepts, and their current equivalents:

Medieval Magic

Modern Magic

Summon spirit of the dead

Summon waiter

Heal the sick

Heal bad haircut

Garlic turns away vampire

Garlic turns away tax auditor

Confession absolves sin

Confession obtains plea-bargain

Exorcise demonic possession

Exorcise daughter's interest in biker

Exorcise demonic possession 2

Exorcise mother-in-law from property

Charm a dragon

Charm your date

Cast out demons

Cast out cockroaches

Remove curse

Remove pimple

Dispel evil spirit

Dispel smell of dope in car

Fairies are playful woodland creatures

Fairies are playful urban creatures

Brownies are malicious

Brownies are delicious

Witches' brew

Vicks Nyquil

Venal sin

Misdemeanor

Mortal sin

Felony

Papal indulgence

Mayor can fix parking tickets

Lay curse on overlord

Lose boss' overheads


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Last Updated 19-Aug-2016   Sitemap

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