Loki's Commandments


  1. Thou shalt not start shit. Thou shalt finish the shit that does start.

  2. When thou becomest mired in the shit – which shall happen, though it shall not be thine own fault – thou shalt not be afraid to fight dirty.

  3. THERE IS NO COMMANDMENT THREE!

  4. Thou shalt find the humor in everything. And yea! though it may appear to be hideously twisted and just plain wrong, thou shalt know thy God laughs with thee. And sometimes, at thee.

  5. Thou shalt use discretion when finding the humor in everything. Be not afraid to chuckle at inappropriate times, however, keepest thy mirth inside thine own head when it is prudent to do so.

  6. Thou shalt worship all the false idols and graven images thy heart desires. The Lord God Loki demandest not thy worship. Only respect, reverence, and friendship does the Lord God Loki wish of thee. Knowest thou He is thy God. The Lord God Loki carest not if thou doest worship mashed potatoes. Sometimes He does too.

  7. Existence is what thou makest of it.

  8. If thou shalt agree to overlook the fact that Commandment #7 is more of a philosophy than a Commandment, the Lord God Loki shalt not impose any more Commandments upon thee.

  9. However, if thou shalt insist upon pointing out the fact that Commandment #7 is philosophy and not religion, goest thou and stick thine head into the toilet. Right now.


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Last Updated 19-Aug-2016   Sitemap

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