sub figura figura liber librae librum
Publication in class LSMFT
6=6 Assistant Manager
||Let us not forget that the Great work is for naught unless we remember
to begin counting from Ain Soph Aur, rather than "1", as is
the fashion of the unenlightened.
||The Knowledge and Coversation of the Holy Guardian Angel is not
so great a feat, once you learn his phone number. Our chief obstacle then,
is obstinate answering services, but that is not the purpose of this document.
||Instead, we shall deal with the aspirant who has found high magick
to be just too damned complicated, and seeks a path to enlightenment which
requires little or no effort beyond buying a really cool robe. Thus, we
present a nice little ritual that even the laziest magus can be performing
in no time: the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Line Segment, not to be
confused with any other Lesser Banishing Rituals which might be floating
||Facing the east, touch the bridge of nose, intoning the holy word
||Touch pelvic region, vibrating the word TESTICLES.
||Touch right side of chest, in region of shirt pocket, intoning WALLET.
||Touch left side of chest, intoning WATCH.
||Thrusting both arms enthusiastically into the air, proclaim loudly "And
that's the fact, Jack!" (you will know you have performed this step
correctly when the neighbors bang on the ceiling in annoyed rebellion
against your incanting.)
||Using the appropriate magickal weapon, trace a glowing blue line
segment in the east, vibrating the mystic name FEE.
||Turn to the south, tracing a similar line segment, vibrating the
mystic name FI.
||Turn to the west, vibrating the mystic name FO.
||Turn to the north, vibrating the mystic name FUM.
||Facing east, invoke the guardians of the watchtowers:
Before me GROUCHO
Behind me HARPO
At my left hand CHICO
At my right hand ZEPPO
For about me flames the Line Segments
And above me shines the four-sided Rectangle!
||Repeat 1-5, above.
The first four steps, known as the Antiballistic Qros, are a technique
whereby the aspirant centers himself within the four elements. Upon pronouncing
the word SPECTACLES, the aspirant should visualize a pair of glasses resting
upon his face; the mystic spectacles of truth, belonging to the element
of air. It further must be recognized that the word SPECTACLES ennumerates
to 657, which is the number of one of the Angels of the 3rd of December
(Scorpio). The limitless profundities in this correspondence should busy
the aspirant for the better part of a weekend.
In any case, the other three points of the Antiballistic Qros refer
to the other three elements: the TESTICLES correspond to the vigourous
fertility drive linked to fire, the WALLET corresponds to the Tarot suit
of Coins and the element of earth, and the WATCH, corresponding to the
element of water, symbolizes the fluid nature of time.
The mystic names FEE, FI, FO, and FUM are next to be intoned, while
tracing the four line segments in the elemental quarters. A note about
the tracing: it is important that the line segment be drawn from the top
down when performing this ritual as a means of banishing; if one starts
at the bottom of the figure and traces upward, that is an invoking line
segment, which is another thing alltogether. Also, one should never draw
the line segment sideways, for this is a symbol of great evil. Parents,
keep in mind that if your teenager demonstrates an affinity for horizontal
lines, he or she is undoubtedly dabbling in the black arts.
The names used in the invocation in step ten may be changed by any ultra-patriotic
Americans who find the whole thing a bit, er, Marxist. It is not uncommon
to invoke instead the holy names JOHN, PAUL, GEORGE, and RINGO, although
some find this practice to reek of another branch of communism.