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Avoid empty cabins that aren't yours, it's not worth the rent money.
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If you insist on entering old cabins, don't go in the cellar.
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Don't turn on any tape recorders that have homemade tapes in them.
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Don't go into the woods.
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Kill anyone who comes back from the woods.
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If forced to choose, take the shotgun over the chainsaw.
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Chainsaws make good hand replacements.
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Don't allow any qualms about chopping up your girl; it just makes it
more difficult when the time comes.
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Worksheds are your friend.
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Immediately kill anyone with bib overalls on, as it saves massive amounts
of future strife.
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Don't break mirrors.
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Remember EVERY syllable of words that prevent the end of the world.
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Count right. If you think you might be off, err on the side of less;
you can always take some more.
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73 Deltas make excellent weapons of war.
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If you have doubts about the girl's evilness, dismember her right away;
it saves much time that you'll need later.
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If faced with your evil alter ego, dismemberment isn't enough, go the
extra mile, and burn!
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Abandoned windmills are just as bad as abandoned cabins, and should
be avoided as such.
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Good jewelry makes your girlfriend happy, cheap jewelry keeps you alive,
and good.
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When in doubt, shoot it, then dismember it, then burn it. Repeat as
necessary.