-
You won't buy a suit unless it'll go with a wolf-skin belt.
-
You challenge your next-door neighbor to holmgang to get his pool.
-
You can't pass through fire with impunity, but you can walk through the alleys off 40th St. in Manhattan with no ill effect.
-
You wear a 20-lb. sledgehammer from Home Depot around your neck.
-
When the cable company comes to the door, you answer it and say "I wot that I hung on the telephone pole for 9 hours, neither cable did they bring me, nor a descrambler. Screaming did I grasp the premium channels..."
-
You may not be able to physically assume the form of a bear, but you hang out in online furry fetish groups a lot.
-
You keep a loaded crossbow in your car in case someone cuts you off during rush-hour.
-
You coat your body in Rogaine instead of woad.
-
When you play "Gauntlet" your heart skips a beat when someone puts a quarter in the slot for Valkyrie.
-
You look forward to drinking ale with Ernest Borgnine in Valhalla when you die ("Hail Ragnar's Beard!").