The God Of The Month Club
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. FRIENDS, "How do you stand with the Lord?" .
. "What do you mean, 'Which one?'" .
C For those of you who are unsure about your current faith or H
o belief system, we offer a viable alternative. We would like u
y to introduce the newest breakthrough in contemporary religion b
t THE GOD OF THE MONTH CLUB a
. Included in this fantastic offer: Each month you will receive d
. complete rituals of the current God &/or Goddess of the month .
A including what (or whom) to sacrifice. (All monetary sacrifices .
l should be sent to our Board of Directors.) H
a Yes--we are looking for people who like to pray. READ ON. c
. Each monthly package will include: 1. A lavishly illustrated t
. booklet of appropriate prayers and rituals. 2. Necessary tools e
M and instructions for all prayers and rituals. 3. Where needed .
a plastic injected graven images are also included. .
m "But what will all this cost?" Mere pennies! and we guarantee h
o results! Are you worried about tithing to the wrong faith? a
n With God of the Month Club, you'll cover them all! Be in good n
. with ALL deities! Any you can't manage for yourself? For a small g
. extra fee our certified and bonded professionals will do your h
B praying for you. (if you should end up in Hell or some other T
r such region, merely send us a postcard (sorry, no channeling) i
i and we will cheerfully refund ALL of your money back. .
i REMEMBER: The God of the Month Club will bring variety to your D
t life, Celibacy one month, Orgies the next, A chance to travel to a
. sacred shrines, companionship with like-minded members, and g
. Free Deprogramming! o
. DON'T DELAY! CALL TODAY! .
The Great Carrot....Cthulhu....Quetzalcoatl....Joseph Smith....Kali....
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