The God Of The Month Club

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.             FRIENDS, "How do you stand with the Lord?"              .
.                 "What do you mean, 'Which one?'"                    .
C   For those of you who are unsure about your current faith or       H
o   belief system, we offer a viable alternative. We would like       u
y   to introduce the newest breakthrough in contemporary religion     b
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t                      THE GOD OF THE MONTH CLUB                      a
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.   Included in this fantastic offer: Each month you will receive     d
.   complete rituals of the current God &/or Goddess of the month     .
A   including what (or whom) to sacrifice. (All monetary sacrifices   .
l   should be sent to our Board of Directors.)                        H
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a      Yes--we are looking for people who like to pray. READ ON.      c
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.   Each monthly package will include: 1. A lavishly illustrated      t
.   booklet of appropriate prayers and rituals. 2. Necessary tools    e
M   and instructions for all prayers and rituals. 3. Where needed     .
a   plastic injected graven images are also included.                 .
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m   "But what will all this cost?"  Mere pennies! and we guarantee    h
o   results!  Are you worried about tithing to the wrong faith?       a
n   With God of the Month Club, you'll cover them all! Be in good     n
.   with ALL deities! Any you can't manage for yourself? For a small  g
.   extra fee our certified and bonded professionals will do your     h
B   praying for you. (if you should end up in Hell or some other      T
r   such region, merely send us a postcard (sorry, no channeling)     i
i   and we will cheerfully refund ALL of your money back.             .
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i   REMEMBER: The God of the Month Club will bring variety to your    D
t   life, Celibacy one month, Orgies the next, A chance to travel to  a
.   sacred shrines, companionship with like-minded members, and       g
.   Free Deprogramming!                                               o
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.                     DON'T DELAY! CALL TODAY!                        .
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The Great Carrot....Cthulhu....Quetzalcoatl....Joseph Smith....Kali....

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