Fortune Teller Jokes


Griselda goes to see a fortune teller, who tells her "Two men are madly in love with me!"

Grizelda asks "Who will be the lucky one?"

The fortune teller answers "Morris will marry you, and Irving will be the lucky one."


Fortune teller One: "Lovely weather we're having."

Fortune teller Two: "Yes, it reminds me of the summer of 2018."


Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table.

Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future."

Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend."

"That's true," said Paul.

"Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"

"Yes," Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"

"Love line? No, from the calluses."


Why did the witch give up fortune telling?

There was no future in it.


"Five dollars for one question!" said the woman to the fortune teller.

"That's very expensive, isn't it?"

"Next!"


Fortune Teller Cartoon

Agnostic Prophecy

Retrospective Fortune-teller

Multitasking


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