Since 'dog' spelled backwards is 'god', am I your mirror image?
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one
another? Where are their priorities?
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old
Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar,
the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for
a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice
ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy
to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is
he still a bad dog?
When my foster mom's friend comes over to our house, he smells like musk!
What's he been rolling around in?
Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have onramps?
If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and
Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling
at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle
across the street.
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't
make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpets again?
When my family eats dinner they always bless their food. But they never
bless mine. So, I've been wagging my tail extra fast when they fill my bowl.
Have you noticed my own blessing?
I've always lived at the shelter and I have everything I need. But many
of the cats here have names and I don't. Could you give me a name please?
It would be good for my self-esteem.
The new terrier I live with just peed on the Oriental rug and I have
a feeling my family might blame me 'cuz they think I'm jealous of this stupid
dog. Since they have no sense of smell, how can I convince them I'm innocent?
Does PetsMart sell lie detectors?
Any chance that if I get into heaven, I could possibly roll around in
I am sure you had a purpose for cats and fleas. I am just not sure was
it is yet.
Are you affiliated with Santa Claws? I've been a good dog but all I ever
get for Christmas is a bath and a dumb bow to wear around my neck. If you
know Santa, could you put in a good word about "Furry Murray" Rodowsky?
I really like bacon flavored treats... you know the kind.
Is it just a coincidence that your name spelled backwards is dog?
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember
to be a good dog.
- I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw
- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just
because I like the way they smell.
- I will not munch on "leftovers" in
the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.
- The diaper pail is
not a cookie jar.
- The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom
and Dad's laps.
- The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
- My head does not belong
in the refrigerator.
- I will not bite the officer' s hand when he
reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
- I will not
play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee
- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering
the house - not after.
- I will not throw up in the car.
- I will not come in from outside and
immediately drag my butt.
- I will not sit in the middle of the living
room and lick my crotch when we have company.
- The cat is not a 'squeaky
toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually
not a good thing.
- I must remember to lick my butt after I lick their face, not before.
Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have
May I have my balls back?