The Cheerleader Tradition


One of the hallmarks of paganism is that new traditions are always being discovered so that previously disenfranchized groups can find their own unique way to the Goddess. In this spirit, I am announcing the founding of the Cheerleader Tradition.

The Cheerleader Tradition is based upon the great revelation by actor Cybill Shepard that the Goddess has a Cheerleader aspect, representing that loooooong time between girlhood and motherhood [Cybill, debut episode]. Thus, the Goddess is Virgin, Cheerleader, Mother, Crone. Initiates call the Goddess by her Cheerleader aspects of Buffy, Tiffany and Heather. By its very nature, this tradition is Dianic, because if there was a man qualified and interested in initiating into the Cheerleeder Tradition, it would be, well, icky.

Aspects of Ritual

General ritual construction is based on the Celtic form, with several important differences:

  • Ritual garb is required: it consists of cute sweatshirts with matching short, multicolored skirts, and sneakers with little yarn pom-poms on them. The color of the yarn pom-poms denotes the degree held.
  • Instead of the athame, the major working tool is a set of pom-poms ("Carry a knife? - that is way not cool!").
  • To watch and guard a circle, air is invoked at all quarters: initiates constantly strive to attain a state of pure airiness.
  • The sacred symbol of the Cheerleader Tradition is the Megaphone, which represents the cone of power. Energy in circle is raised by synchronized cheer routines.

CHEERLEADER ASTROLOGY

Astrology in the Cheerleader tradition differs from most other traditions. You see, to date no Cheerleader has been able to make an astrological chart that has any bearing on reality. There are two reasons for this:

  1. Mathematical ability is inversely proportional to an individualís fitness to become a Cheerleader; and
  2. Cheerleaders only recognize 10 signs of the zodiac.

What happened to the other two signs? Well, it seems that a group once invoked "Aries" after learning from a Greek Tradition that Ares is a male god. They thought it represented the perfect male air element (Spelling is NOT a Cheerleader trait!), so they invoked him as a guardian at all four quarters. You can imagine how that turned out!

On the other hand, the participants kept encountering really cute soldiers for about a month afterward...

As for the other sign, the Cheerleaders unanimously decided that Cancer was just too depressing to think about.

As a result, in the Cheerleader tradition astrological signs simply represent aspects and goals in the life of a true Cheerleader.

THE SIGNS AND THEIR CHEERLEADER MEANING

  • Taurus, the Car, represents transportation, status. Also represents excellent music because:
    1. music is really important;
    2. you almost always have music on when youíre in a car.
  • Gemini, the Jewelry, represents wealth and status, especially focusing on the need to recognize the quality of things as well as quantity.
  • Leo, the MGM Lion, symbolizes the importance of movies in terms of dates, lifestyles, and current music and fashion trends.
  • Virgo, the Virgin, represents the need for white lies if the truth will cause too much purposeless distress or discord. Also a reminder to be kind to children, because every girl might be a future Cheerleader, and every boy might be a Cheerleaderís date.
  • Libra, the Scales, represents the importance of appearances. Also symbolizes the need for weighing choices (e.g., dates, clothes, parties) in terms of Cheerleader ethics.
  • Scorpio is symbolized by that cute guy on General Hospital. Represents the importance of really cool, cute men.
  • Sag (No Cheerleader can SAY the whole name, let alone SPELL it!) represents the importance of good muscle tone. Also a caution to ALWAYS wear a bra during sports.
  • Capricorn, the Teeth, represents the freedom to get caps if you need them. More generally, represents permission to get "nipped and tucked" if you feel that you really need to.
  • Aquarius, the Hippie, symbolizes acceptance of other people's ideas of fun, even if they're weird. (Old people have a "really groovy time". We have way cool parties. Both are OK.) Also symbolizes the freedom to make your own fun.
  • Pisces, the Pie, represents discipline -- the need to stay away from short-term pleasure to attain long-term goals (see Libra, above)

As you can see, this tradition represents a special path for those who need to relate to and work with the Goddess in a manner not often encountered in more traditional groups.

Let us welcome our new sisters of the night!

-- by Ragnell


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Last Updated 19-Aug-2016   Sitemap

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