Church of All Worlds Ten Commandments

... from the CAW membership newsletter, Winter, 1993
What follows is meant entirely tongue in cheek.

  1. This is the first commandment: Be excellent to each other. Thou shalt have no first commandment but this.

  2. If thou carest not for It, thou canst have none of It.

  3. Playeth thou nice and avoid the reading of Vogon poetry; it is a vexation to the soul.

  4. Speaketh thou clearly and slowly and not with thy mouth full. When laughing at sermons, blow not chunks upon the clergy, neither woofeth thy cookies in far trajectories for, yea, robes are expensive and dry cleaning dear.

  5. Freakest thou not yon mundanes overmuch for, verily, they whine piteously and wax sorely pissed.

  6. Honor thy Planet and Her creations that thy days be long and thy nights be worth spending at clam bakes. Cleaneth up after thyself and turneth thou down unused appliances. We meaneth this.

  7. Believeth not what thou witness on television but for Star Trek. Verily, skippeth thou all television but for Star Trek.

  8. Where applicable, maketh thou love, not war. Where not applicable, maketh thou love noisily.

  9. Shareth thy bounty with thy friends that they may wax bountiful. Yea, then thou mayest shareth thy bountiful friends with still more friends to create yet more bounty. Invite the clergy to such... uhh... sharings.

  10. Might dost not maketh right. Nay, 'tis but truth dost maketh right. But, by the Goddess, we shall be persuaded by all forms of beauty and even unto the finest of celebrations thereof.

--Adam Walks Between Worlds

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