The Shit Fit
by Ernie Marrs
Tune: Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream
This is a scoffing song, meant to be sung and shared when the person being scoffed is present. Just substitute 3 and 2 syllable versions of the chump's name at the asterisks.
I had a friend named * * *
Who had an awful fit
Because he went and ate too much
And could not take a shit.
He bought himself some Carter's Pills
To try and ease the pain;
Feenamint and Hadacol -
He tried them all in vain.
He tried to shit; he cried to shit;
He moaned and groaned and strained;
He stuck his finger up his ass,
But not one inch was gained.
And then one day the shit gave way
With a defecating roar;
He shit and shit and shit and shit
Until his ass was sore.
There was shit upon his finger
And shit up in his nose;
There was shit on the walls and shit on the floor
And shit all o'er his clothes.
So when old * * starts in with
A cursing, screaming fit,
No need to pay him any mind
Because he's full of shit.
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